


Mistaken

by All_InProcess



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Death, F/M, Funeral, Harry's dead and everything hurts, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Canon, Post-Film, Unrequited Love, because i love pain and heartbreak, i wrote a little drabble then decided it had to be a legitmate thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:23:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5033602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_InProcess/pseuds/All_InProcess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy wasn't ready to say goodbye to Harry, the man he loved. Even when he saw Harry collapse to the ground after being shot he wasn't even entertaining the fact that that was the end of the line. He wasn't ready for a funeral, and yet he still went.<br/>He <i>really</i> wasn't ready, though, to see a family standing directly across from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistaken

**Author's Note:**

> It started out as just a short little drabble, but I felt like I was doing the idea a disservice to not make something more out of it.

Things at Kingsman had, more or less, calmed down since the chaos of V-Day. Of course, there was still a hard road ahead for everyone in the agency, between having to appoint a new Arthur, and having to actually start dealing with the loss of Harry Hart. It wasn't an easy loss on anyone seeing as how Harry had been such an integral part of Kingsman for the longest time. Some of the agents were handling it better than others, however.

Merlin had his few days of outward mourning. Harry had been more than a fellow Kingsman agent to him, after all. They had known each other far before either of them were recruited. He kept himself at home until he could collect himself enough to be professional. Then it was time to take care of everything.

Eggsy was inconsolable. He'd managed to get back into Harry's flat and refused to leave. Roxy had stopped in a few times to try and coax him to do something, even if he didn't leave, she tried to get him to eat, or drink something besides whiskey, but even she couldn't reach him enough to change anything. Some nights she simply stayed and listened to whatever it was he had to say, his head resting in her lap as he cried. It broke her heart. She hadn't been close with Harry by any means, but she knew that he was a great man, and she mourned the loss as well. For Eggsy's sake, though, she kept her thoughts about it to herself. She knew that he was facing a struggle that she couldn't even try to imagine. She tried to help as best she could, but he wasn't making it easy on her. For as exhausting as it could be though, she wouldn't trade it for what Merlin had to be put through because of this. Her responsibilities paled in comparison to what he had to go through, not only as a top Kingsman agent, but as Harry's best friend; that poor man had to organize practically _everything_.

*

Merlin took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment before knocking on the door. He stood there for a few moments in wait, and realized that even though it’d been so long since he last visited the house Harry had for his family, it really hadn’t changed much. They were so secluded and out of harm’s way here. It was comforting just to be near the place.

There was a shuffle of footsteps and the sound of locks being undone before the door was pulled open just enough for someone to peek out of. As soon as she realized who it was, she opened the door all the way, a worried smile on her face. Merlin hadn't seen Vivian in years. Probably not since the birth of their last daughter, and that was a good eighteen to twenty years prior at the very least. Where had the time gone? Merlin knew that as he and Harry became more and more entrenched in Kingsman operations, they would have to distance themselves from each other's families and personal lives for the sake of safety, but it hadn't truly hit him until he saw Vivian.

Twenty years changes a person, mentally, physically, emotionally. And while she now had wrinkles by the edges of her eyes and around her mouth and had to dye her hair, her green eyes were still bright and Merlin knew that age had done nothing to diminish her spirit.

"William!" she opened her arms, calling him by a name he'd nearly forgotten he had, "It's been so long."

He stepped in and hugged her, "Too long, Vivian. I'm glad to see you're doing well."

She shut the door behind them and motioned for him to sit down as she went to the kitchen to get them each a cup of coffee, "Oh, just cleaning up after Harry and the kids as usual. Although it's much easier now that there's only one little bird in the nest rather than three."

"Your by moved out, eh?"

She nodded as she handed him his coffee and sat across from him, "He did. Got a flat with one of his buddies. It's just Lyss and I here now when Harry's gone," she took a sip of her drink, "But I digress. I'm sure this wasn't purely a social call. Is everything alright?"

Merlin set his cup on the end table, looking down at his hands for a moment before returning his attention to Vivian, "Are any of the kids home?"

Her expression grew more worried, "No, it's just me right now. Why?" when he didn't respond immediately she set her cup down and reached to rest her hand on his knee, "Will, please, you're worrying me. Out with it, for my sake."

"Vivian, it's Harry. I'm afraid," his voice shook, "I'm afraid he's been killed."

She covered her mouth with her hands, tears rolling down her cheeks as she tried to choke back her sobs. She shook her head, "No, no that can't be. I just spoke to him a few days ago, said he was handling business in Kentucky," her voice cracked, "This can't be."

Merlin wiped his tears away, "I'm sorry, Vivian. I truly wish this wasn't the case."

"How am I supposed to tell the kids?" no matter how many times she wiped her eyes, more tears appeared.

He swallowed hard, "I can tell them. You have enough to handle right now."

She shook her head, "No, no. William you're a saint, truly. But this is something they need to hear from me. I suppose I always knew this day would come," she covered her mouth for a moment, "I just never really thought about what would happen when, when it did."

He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket. This was the part that he hated the most. He pulled the medal out and held it in the palm of his hand. "Viv..." he waited for her to be able to look at him again.

She saw the medal and broke down again, "I know what that is. Harry's spoken to me about the times he's had to be the bearer of this news."

Merlin took a deep breath, "Then you know what it means," she nodded but didn't say anything more. He looked at her, "Vivian, there is nothing I could ever give you to try and remedy this. I'm so incredibly sorry that there isn't anything more I can do," he wiped his eyes, "That's good until the end of time, until you can't read the number on it anymore. Your kids could use it if you never find the need to," he reached forward and rested his hand on hers, "But Vivian, if you ever need anything, and I mean, anything, don't hesitate to call my number, alright? It's only good until I'm no longer here," he laughed half-heartedly, "But there's no limit on the number of times I'll answer. Anything you need, anything at all."

She smiled through her tears, "Thank you, William. Harry thought of you as family, I hope you know. You two were friends, but he thought of you like a brother. And I thanked God _every day_ that he had you there alongside him."

He knew he was going to lose it if he stayed too much longer, "He was a very lucky man to have had you as a wife, Vivian," he stood up, fussing with his jacket simply to avoid eye contact, "I'm so sorry to give you this news and leave, but-"

"There's a lot to be done, I know," she gave an understanding smile as she turned the medal over in her hands a few times, "Thank you for doing this in person, Will."

"Of course," he hugged her, "If there's anything I can do..."

"You'll be the first to know," she kissed him on the cheek, "Stay well."

He nodded, "You too."

*

Roxy had just gotten back to HQ after another emotionally grueling evening at Harry's flat with Eggsy. She was walking to one of the temporary rooms when she heard footsteps behind her. She quickly turned around, hand resting on her hip, ready to pull out her gun if need be. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was Merlin.

"At ease, Lancelot," he smiled but he sounded tired, his voice was hollow.

"Sorry, Merlin. It's been a tiring night. I’m just a bit on edge."

"You visit Eggsy again?"

She nodded, "Not that it's done much good."

He shook his head, "Still refusing to do anything?"

"Yea. I just, I can't even pretend that I know what he's going through. To lose someone who means that much. He didn't just think of Harry as his mentor, he, he said he loved him."

Merlin's eyes grew wide, "Oh no..."

She nodded, "Oh yes."

He shook his head, "Alright, it's too late for me to be able to process this. I've had a long enough day as is."

"What happened?"

"I spoke to Harry's family about what happened."

Roxy's expression fell and she immediately understood why Merlin had looked so confused and worried, "Oh," she shook her head, knowing there was nothing to be done about that at the moment, "Anyway, are you alright? Do you need anything? I can't imagine having to do that..."

He offered a weak but honest smile, "Thank you, Lancelot, but I'll be alright. I just need to get some rest. It's going to be a...draining few days coming up."

"If you need me..."

"Thank you. Get some rest," he sounded fit to be a father.

*

It was the day of the funeral. Merlin hadn't seen Eggsy to be able to prepare him for what he was about to be walking into. Even if he had seen the boy, he had no idea how he was supposed to go about facilitating that kind of discussion. All he knew was that the poor boy was still in the mindset that he was going to the funeral of a man he loved, a man who loved _him_.

And he wasn't totally wrong. Harry _had_ loved him. He loved Eggsy in the same way he loved his own son and daughters. But Eggsy didn't know that. Eggsy had loved Harry in a way that he hadn't ever loved another person before, a love full of trust and passion, something he thought was reciprocated simply because he hadn't ever had someone believe and show so much concern for him and his future before. And how hard was it really to fall in love with someone as beautiful as Harry Hart?

But that day wasn't going to be what Eggsy had in mind, and Merlin knew it.

They arrived at the cemetery, and before Eggsy could get too far Merlin grabbed him arm, gently as he could while still forcing the boy to stop for a moment. He was so stricken with grief that Merlin hardly recognized him, pale-faced and eyes rimmed with red from crying. Merlin hadn't ever thought about this side of him. Even though Roxy would lament about it, Merlin had only ever seen the determined, cocky boy from training, and the slick mercenary he'd turned into immediately after Harry's death. So to see the boy so torn up, so openly and obviously weak, it halted him.

"Eggsy," Merlin's voice was deep and quiet, "we need to talk for a minute."

"It c'n wait," Eggsy jerked his arm free and walked off.

Merlin caught up to him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder, "Lad, please, just let me-"

"Let me have one day," his voice was shaking as tears began to roll down his cheeks, " _One day_ , Merlin, _please_." And he walked away again.

Merlin groaned internally. There was so much going on that day, and his own emotions were in disarray. He had enough trouble keeping himself in check and yet here he was trying to rein Eggsy in, someone who had shown from the very start he had no intention of letting anyone else control him. Merlin chastised himself, but even so, deep down he knew that he was worrying about Eggsy because he knew the boy needed it. This, for better or worse, was familiar turf to Merlin. He'd been in Kingsman long enough to have been through loss. Eggsy, though, was treading in unfamiliar waters. The boy was so lost, and the last thing he needed was to be blindsided by the fact that Harry had a family. Still, Merlin knew there was no catching up and pulling him aside. Eggsy didn't want to listen, and in that moment, Merlin didn't have the emotional strength to make him.

Eggsy walked over to where Harry was to be buried, and there were a number of familiar faces, all Kingsmen that he'd interacted with in his short time so far with the agency. He found his place next to Roxy, who had looked over to Merlin and felt her insides twist when the man shook his head. She wanted to say something to Eggsy, but she didn't have much to offer, only the fact that Harry had had a family, a wife. She leaned in to quietly try and say something to Eggsy, but before she could she felt his hand entwine with hers and hold on for dear life. She couldn't bring herself to speak, instead she bit down on her bottom lip until she tasted blood in her mouth.

As Eggsy looked around at everyone, he saw a few faces that he didn't recognize in the slightest on the other side of Harry's coffin. There was a boy who was Eggsy's age. He had a young face and dark brown hair, tall and muscular enough. He was holding a girl a few years older as she cried into his shoulder, her legs buckling with the weight of her sadness, her light brown hair falling over her face. There was another girl, younger but only by a couple years, it seemed. She kept her composure but tears ran down her cheeks, taking her makeup with them. Eggsy would one day, when he was emotionally ready, learn that their names were Thomas, Guinivere, and Alyssa. And as time went on he'd also realize that they each had a little piece of the Harry that he knew within them.

Next to them, however, was an older woman. Her hair was dark but the lines on her face betrayed her age. She had on a long black dress and sunglasses to hide her eyes. Her entire body trembled with grief, and it could be seen that she was fighting the urge to collapse, fall onto the coffin that held her everything. Her one hand was covering her mouth, muffling her sobs, while the other was clenched, something dangling from between her fingers. Eggsy stared for a few moments before he realized what it was. But there was no denying what was in front of him; he'd know that small, pink medal anywhere.

Everything he thought he knew went up in flames as he put everything together. He pressed his lips tight and had to look away. His chest and stomach were in knots as he fought to try and comprehend and accept what he was being faced with. Roxy squeezed his hand in hers and silently prayed that he wouldn't say or do anything rash that he would end up regretting. His shoulders shook as he tried and failed to choke back sobs. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, or the woman across from him. He kept his eyes glued to the wooden box, going over every detail of his time with Harry while he did.

Where did he go wrong? When had his views become so skewed that he missed entertaining the (very strong) possibility of Harry having a life, a family that was disconnected from Kingsman? He'd gotten so wrapped up in the fact that Harry, this beautiful, successful, intelligent man, had seen some worth in him. The mere thought of it still made his head spin.

But as he looked nervously at the distraught family across from him, he felt the back of his throat start to burn. He felt as though he was going to be sick. He was mourning more than just the loss of Harry, now. He was mourning the feelings he conjured up out of nothing. He was crying for the fact that he lost Harry's love, that he never really had it to begin with. It wasn't a loss of what could've been anymore. There was so much anger in his sadness now. He trembled and he felt like his throat was closing up. He had hoped and dreamed and wished. He had even waited, for what he didn't truly know. But it didn't matter anymore. As he heard the cries of a mourning family, and a grieving widow, he suddenly felt angry at himself, and hollow over everything that he'd just lost.

As Roxy placed her free hand on Eggsy's arm, all he could think about was how far off he'd gone. He could've done things so differently, made so much more of his time with Harry. He should've been logical, guarded like always. More than that, though, he should've just _known_.


End file.
